Firefly 1.10 (War Stories)

Torture, smorture, the real pain is in not getting to see the rest of what happens between Inara and the Counselor!

Firefly 1.09 (Ariel)

Betrayal is a bitch, yes, betrayal is in fact a female dog!

Firefly 1.08 (Out Of Gas)

I’m never out of gas, not that type of gas you dirty miscreants, I’m talking about the hot air I’m constantly spewing in my reviews, get your minds out of the gutter, sheesh!

Firefly 1.07 (Jaynestown)

I want a town I can be the hero of, but only if it comes with lots of easy hot chicks, oh yeah!

Firefly 1.06 (Our Mrs. Reynolds)

I will say this a few more times during my review, but yowza, that Christina Hendricks is a babe, they do everything they can to try and hide her rack when she’s playing the doting wife, but there’s no hiding any part of her hotness!

Firefly 1.05 (Safe)

I wouldn’t mind living in some hidden community out in the woods, but then I remember that I’m an atheist who’s very vocal in terms of sex and other provocative things and I know I would be killed within a day, probably a few hours.

Firefly 1.04 (Shindig)

I’ve never seen a party so fancy, the fanciest party I ever went to involved a lot of booze and a bevy of strippers!

Firefly 1.03 (Bushwhacked)

Space can be a scary place, but humans who lack humanity are even scarier!

Firefly 1.02 (The Train Job)

I’d gladly be an indentured man to a chick as hot as Inara, as long as sex is part of the deal, because otherwise it would be like most of my friendships with women!

Firefly 1.01 (Serenity)

Spaceships and horses, at the same time, what am I watching?